I can’t believe you’ve been growing away in my belly for 30 weeks already. Well, 26 weeks if you don’t count the four you were in existence without me yet knowing. You haven’t made your debut but in so many ways you’ve changed my, rather OUR lives. I feel so close to you and like my heart might burst when we finally meet face to face. I’m not quite sure I can even prepare to process what that will be like but I don’t dare try too hard because I want to soak up all those unknowns and surrender to what it’s going to feel like to have you in my arms finally.
All those things pregnant mamas talk, joke and even warn us first time moms about are happening. I haven’t slept well in weeks. Most of my closet is neglected because my body isn’t what it used to be. It probably never will be either. I look at myself in the morning and again at the end of the day and see new things about myself that are only possible because you were created. Sometimes I fear your Dad will see me differently because of it. Sometimes I’m in denial this is all happening. Sometimes I feel like I’ve grown 10 years wiser in the span of seven months. But all of the time I feel simply full of joy knowing it’s all because of you. It’s been transformative.
You’re so busy moving around 24/7 like you’re constantly letting me know all is well. I swear it’s the long legs you already have just like your tall Dad but I also think it’s because God knows it’s reassuring for me to know you’re doing everything you’re supposed to in there. If I lay on my left side I can watch your feet grace the skin on my belly like a ripple of a wave in the water. It makes your Dad laugh and he asks me all the time what it feels like. ‘It feels like love,’ I tell him. It’s the only way to accurately describe what that’s like. I’ll miss that when you’re finally here but admittedly know having you out in the real world with us both will be even better.
The girls back home in Canada threw us the sweetest sleepover shower a few weeks ago. These are the women I grew up with, who know me the very best and have loved me unconditionally through everything. We’ve gone through high school, high level sports and endless hours of gymnastics, break ups, parent divorces, weddings, births and more together. They all wrote both you and I such sweet letters. I can’t wait to read them to you. You have a tribe of Aunts who would go to the end of the world for you and I can’t tell you how lucky we both are. Your Grandma Bosse and the women on your Dad’s side of the family threw you and I another sweet gathering here in Michigan too. Goodness you are so loved already but the love we as your Mom and Dad have for you permeates every part of our world. I never understood this before you existed but I understand it now. I’m counting down the weeks until you’re here. Just 10 more to go now sweet little one. Keep growing strong.
With love, your Mom and Dad
One day I’ll tell you about the time we went into the water off the coast of Italy to take photos of you at 24 weeks. It was quite the spectacle as I waded into the frothy water dressed in a chiffon navy blue ball gown and the locals watched from the pier with puzzled looks on their faces. I lost my earrings in the ocean that day. It was worth every second and I’d travel around the entire globe for you any day. Photo by Love, The Nelsons