When my Nan was in her last few days of life, my family and I rallied around her bed side doing our best to muster the right sort of goodbyes. Despite her normally upbeat personality and unwillingness to give in to her pain, my grandmother’s tough exterior slowly began to crumble. Organs had stopped working weeks earlier, her body had shrunk to an unrecognizable heap, her voice dwindled to barely a whisper; this person in front of me wasn’t in fact my grandmother but instead a very sick individual. Days passed, and the nurses took my mother aside. They were confused. A person like my grandmother should not still be alive. She had been given just days to live almost 4 weeks earlier, yet here she was, laying so peacefully in her bed, alive, with a slight smile across her lips. She’d tell us every now and then that ‘she was just fine, thank you.’ Just fine.
I’m a big believer in ‘You Never Know.’ As in ‘You Never Know’ if you don’t try. Or ‘You Never Know’ if could look different on your body than it does on the hanger. Although my skepticism can sometimes get the best of me, I like to instill a little itty bitty bit of faith in the situations, and people around me. Even if I know what’s going to happen, and when I can predict how things will end up and turn out, a little “You Never Know” can really make all the difference.
I had to say my goodbye before I went back to school that May. I sat next to my grandma, my best friend, and read her a card I had painfully written to her. We held hands. I tried unsuccessfully not to show her signs of any emotional weakness. Then I did the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and walked out of that hospice seeing her for the last time. Just days later I got a phone call from my Mom who explained that Nan had asked my Grandpa to take her for one last car ride. She didn’t want some fresh air, and she wasn’t searching for an excuse to spend alone time with my Grandpa. Yet instead, my sweet and very frail Grandma, the one who would pass on just two days later, was craving some McDonald’s. Together they drove the short distance to the closest golden arches, just the two of them for the last time.
Go make that career change. Go get that tattoo, that hair cut, that pair of jeans that costs the same as your entire pay check. Go ask for that raise, go tell the bully at work his behaviour is acceptable, go try to make that 5-layer-chocolate cake that calls for ingredients you’ve never even heard of. Go buy that lottery ticket, that work out video you’ve had reservations about, that dress you think makes your bum too big. Go bring a plate of cookies to your grumpy neighbor. Go tell your Mom, your Dad, your cousin, your grandma, your best friend, your boss, your paperboy, you pet iguana that you love them, because ‘You Never Know.’
I Never Knew I’d be sitting here submitting an Inspiration Shoot to Style Me Pretty but I just did tonight (wheee!) And I can pretty much guarantee if it was even remotely possible, my heart would be decked out in pretty red ruffles like the ones on these beauties above. Thank you Beth for being a fabulous partner and taking such wicked photos for me. Cannot wait to show the rest off. Happy Weekend loves xo