Wedding Planning Advice

Wedding Don’ts {Things I Did Wrong}January 27, 2011
While it was hard to come up with a list of things I believe I could have done better wedding-wise (since each and every item on said list has either taught me a lesson or without it our day wouldn’t have been, well, our day) I figured throwing at least a handful of things together would be helpful to brides currently planning their big day. I’ve done my best to avoid writing this post in a way that would seem like I was complaining or upset with any component of our wedding planning process or the wedding day itself  but I like to think my honesty is one of the reasons people like to stop by and read what I have to say. Like noted above, if one bride can learn one thing from here forward, then I am one happy little married Rhi!
{number one} I tried to wing it all on my own. Now some brides, and there’s a ton of them might I add, plan their weddings themselves. They select vendors, pick colours, decide on themes and create their wedding day timeline all on their own. Then the big day comes, and you can find said brides sitting in their bridal suits, champagne glass in hand, laughter being shared amongst them and their attendants; because these brides have either hired a day-of coordinator or they have trusted friends and family to help with the logistics of the day. Then there are some brides, like Yours Truly, who are late to their hair appointment because eight carloads later everything still isn’t set up at the venue. There are brides like me out there (and I salute you, oh yes I salute you) who actually plan and faithfully coordinate their own wedding. As in they personally set up their cake, flowers, and decor, they continually direct vendors where to go throughout the event, they serve as the main contact person should something go wrong and they head the clean up crew when the wedding is over. And I did this. I did all of this. Do I regret it? Not really because it taught me many valuable lessons that I can now apply to my own clients. Do I wish I would have had someone there to take care of the things I foolishly claimed responsibility for? Absolutely. Hire a Coordinator. It’s worth the money, my friends. (And no I am not shamefully promoting my own business here, promise).
{number two} I rushed into selecting vendors. The minute that sparkly was placed on my finger, it’s like the world stopped spinning only to perfectly align itself with the planet of all things wedding. Much like how I handle things in my everyday life, I had little patience to go and source out my options and as a result, the first vendor, product, service I discovered, I became desperate to lock in. Now with my knowledge of the industry and familiarity of the endless amount of vendors out there, I wish I would have done a little homework to compare products and prices and to get reviews from former clients (Andrew you were right). I probably would have ended up with the exact same vendors we picked anyways since I loved them, it’s just my advice to future brides to really consider the company and.or person you are selecting as a vendor because feeling regret over that choice can be terribly discouraging. I have to add too, that in some cases there are vendors you know are meant to be; as in you know you want them to be your baker, your florist, your photographer, long before you even have a boyfriend let alone a potential husband. With that being said, lock them in, pretty little bride!
{number three} I lost sight of what the wedding really meant, the unity of man and woman, the becoming of husband and wife. Thankfully I got my-you-know-what together in time for the big day and thus was able to appreciate the day for it’s true meaning. But my goodness there were some weeks during our engagement where the word marriage seemed so far from being any part of my vocabulary. Glue guns are rad, mason jars and lace are some of my favourite items to ever grace this life with their pretty little presence and a good diy challenge makes my heart skip a few beats. But the minute you wake up on the day after your wedding none of these things will even surface in your mind because beside you will be your new teammate, partner and best friend for life. Do not lose sight of this and do not take advantage of this person long before you even meet them at the alter. They are, after all, kind of the reason that whole ‘wedding-thing’ even happened to begin with. 
{number four} I tortured myself. And I don’t mean I tortured myself physically (and in hindsight I probably should have to tone up my arms a little bit) but more so mentally and emotionally I dragged myself way down. I wasn’t stupid and clueless to that little thing we had called a budget. Yet instead I seemed to think I was the exception to the rule and that vendors would create for me a different, lower quote for their services. I thought that maybe I could justify spending a few thousand dollars extra on an established and way-out-of-our league videographer. I didn’t think there was a problem spending ten bucks per chair for my beloved Chiavari chairs if it meant our guests would have glamorous seating arrangements. Too many times I would stumble across a new service, vendor or product online that I was convinced we needed and I would beg and plead Andrew to have it when I knew in my heart we couldn’t afford it. Lesson learned here; let go and accept things as is. When you can tell the difference between what is realistic and what isn’t-ever-gunna happen in a trillion years you can finally experience the wedding planning process for what it’s worth. Don’t make the mistake of letting finances and lofty wedding expectations overshadow what should be the life-changing experience of committing yourself to your best friend and love. Because when you do, it’s a giant annoying, frustrating pain the in the butt.

{number five} I let the world of wedding blogs control my life and my perception of what would deem my wedding as a success. Big mistake. There is the finest of fine lines between wedding blogs being a help and a hassle and to this day, as an event and wedding planner I’m still a little torn on the issue. Don’t get me wrong, I adore wedding blogs and think the industry is a more complete and cohesive place with so many inspirational places to visit. It’s just that while blogs can provide you with so many endless options on colours, designs, themes, vendors, projects, advice and so forth, it can often lead a confident bride off into the land of confusion and indecisiveness which is where I camped out for a good eight months (in a too-small tent with my frenemy the budget). Together with your fiance, make a list of what is important to you and him (or her) and use that as your guide to wedding planning. Go with your gut feeling, do what feels right and never ever be afraid to ask for help whether it be from a professional, a neighbor, a friend or family member.
I wanted to add a little colour to the post so here is a shot of my sweet Grandpa and I hugging after our ceremony (something that I would classify as a Wedding DO, just to clear up any confusion on including this moment in this specific post). I had just explained to him that Andrew and I had privately released two giant balloons during our first look in memory of my Nan. He started to cry and I started to cry right before he grabbed me into a hug. This was the only time during the entire day that I shed a tear. I am so thankful for this photo snapped by Amanda, and more so I am thankful for my Grandpa (p.s. betcha didn’t know I was a half ginger? :) For a list of the things I did absolutely right check out this post here. Happy Thursday loves and check in tomorrow for a new Friday series, before the loveliness of the weekend sets in xo

P.S. If it rains on your wedding day and forces the ceremony inside like it did for us do not let this get you down both on the big day and during the months to come after the party is over. I was devastated when I had to make the choice to bring in all the chairs from our venues terrace overlooking the lake and I am still learning to accept that this was out of our control and therefore isn’t something I should still fret about. If your groom (or bride) shows up, professes their love for you and everyone makes it home safely, I think you can consider your day to be pretty close to perfect.



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Monthly Love Letters
To Your Inbox
business wisdom & helpful PDFs soap shop updates & discounts inspirational conversations