Someone sent me this little tidbit of a dilemma a few weeks ago and I’ve been patiently waiting (or rather, she’s been patiently waiting) for me to address it. Said reader was hoping I could share my advice on merging my life and my husbands together since she correctly assumed that he works a 9 – 5 and I work a primarily demanding nights and weekends kind of gig. She’s interested in hearing how I, and of course how all of you out there, handle the demands of irregular job schedules in a relationship. And I am so glad she asked :) Below are a few of the things I try to do to find balance between work and love.
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{Set Aside Date Nights} One thing Apb and I have tried to do (and I say tried because lately this has been a toughie to uphold) is set aside one day or night a week that is specifically devoted to date night or alone time for the both of us. We then both understand that come every Thursday evening, we’ve previously arranged to free our schedules of appointments or priorities because this is one night we have specifically set aside for the two of us. And date night doesn’t have to mean getting dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant but it might mean turning off our laptops and cell phones and sitting on the couch together to watch our favorite show or a DVR-ed movie with a glass of wine. It’s incredible how much this one night a week just being together without external distractions, can make a difference in allowing you to feel connected to your significant other.

{Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder} Andrew and I spent two years of our engagement and the first four months of our marriage apart. And I don’t mean apart like “Yo babe I’ll see you this weekend” I mean like “Hey babe I’m over here in a different country, I’ll see you in a few months when flights get cheaper” kind of thing. It was a brutal, lonely, frustrating and at times downright crappy time but it most of all made me realize how sure I was that at the end of the tunnel was our metaphorical light for happily ever after. I’m not saying to suck it up if you and your significant other do have irregular work schedules but rather than feel defeated, instead embrace your own individual lives so that when you do find time to do things together, it’ll be that much sweeter. I know when I spend a few days away from Apb handling my responsibilities and him managing his, I get really giddy just thinking of how excited I am to spend time with him again; whenever that may be.

{Be The Partner You Want to Be With} Wait a sec Rhi, wha? I know that sounds way too confusing. But let me explain because this little piece of advice is for anyone in a relationship regardless of when and if you or your spouse work at all. Too often people get into a long term relationship or marriage to find that things get a little too comfortable and you no longer find it necessary to do things you may have done in the beginning stages of the relationship. It could be caring less about your physical appearance, forgetting to leave love notes on the counter, texting less “just because I love yous,” but essentially sometimes we put in less effort in our relationships while still having the same expectations of our partner. Irregular work schedules are common and at times inevitable, so rather than feel upset over your given circumstances, embracing the love you have for your partner and being the best version of yourself for them is a sure fire way to get the most out of your relationship.
Let’s hear it blogettes; your tricks and tips for merging work schedules with your significant other!