Last night I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and I saw a comment from a follower of mine.
“Everything is always so perfect.” she wrote one of my photos.
I laughed out loud. Literal LOLs here, people. Me? Perfect? I get I’m a perfectionist. I like things to be a specific way and I relish in control. I’m definitely not opposed to perfection. But my life is truly so far from perfect. It’s actually very imperfect. I thought this to myself as I rolled over and fell asleep without brushing my teeth or taking off my makeup from the day. Oh and I totally fell asleep wearing pink Piglet pajamas that my Mom bought for me from the Goodwill three years ago. Like matching long sleeved shirt and pants pajamas with a Disney Store tag in the inside. Yeah I’m an almost-26-year-old woman here.
See, when I was in college I was an NCAA athlete. At times it was everything and at others it was not. There were really bad times and there were really good times. And at one time, one whole year actually, it was all really bad. I had back fractures, I had an awful bout of weight gain, I had failing grades. I was really really sad and frustrated. All. The. Time. I had a whole list of very very imperfect things in my life. Me being one of the biggest things on that list. And my attitude showed every little part of this. I think I sort of dug this really deep hole for myself. And gladly dove in head first at the first chance I got.
It wasn’t until my senior year that I thought being miserable, and showing it to everyone whether it be in my physical demeanor, my facebook status updates or even my academic or athletic performances, wasn’t really helping my overall state. You get a reputation for being a whiner. For being a downer. For being no good to be around because maybe someone else is having a kickin’ day and my usual wha wha story is bringing them down, fast. I started to put two and two together. I started realizing that even if things weren’t the way I wanted them to be, it didn’t mean I have to turn it into a news headline. When you radiate positively, when you elicit happiness and joy and thankfulness in all you do, it doesn’t erase the imperfections from your life. But it does allow you to find the silver lining in whatever it may be, however deep it is, that’s causing you grief.
Last week Kelly Braman (oh I adore her) and I had a little girls morning creating pretty floral arrangements and a fun little DIY for the blog. I can’t wait to share more photos with you but first I want to point out that in the photo below the sink behind me there was full of dishes from the night before. And my hair hadn’t been washed in days. And without going off on a tangent here lemme tell you about my front closet being somewhat similar to a little kids’ closet. You know where you open it up and everything but the kitchen sinks tumbles down burying you in a puddle of junk? Yeah my life is exactly that kind of perfect.
Sometimes your state of mind is everything.
And sometimes it’s the way we handle things that truly allows us to find the perfectly imperfect things in life. xoxo